Videotron is the worst company in the world. Anyone tells you different you punch them in the face. Worst products, worst service, worst everything. Just 360 degrees of failure. The only efficient department is, naturally, billing. You may have a shadow voice on your phone and your internet throttled to nothing, but by God your bill will be received on time.
The sad thing is I actually left Bell to switch to Videotron. I had Videotron cable, and they called and offered all sorts of magical things. Great internet and home phone, upgraded cable service and NO THROTTLING!?!? All for a low bundle price of blahbidly blah?!?! Sign me up! Besides, I never really loved Bell you know? Like I loved Bell, but wasn’t in love with it. So off to the adventure of Videotron part deux I went. Whenever someone refers to me as being smart (not as often as you’d think) I now just think back to this moment to remind myself that I’m actually retarded. The sad thing is I knew better too. I KNEW BETTER! I had videotron once before, and they fucked me. But this time it was going to be different.
“It said it changed!”
So after three weeks of the worst anything ever, I finally just accepted my fate. A bottle of sleeping pills in one hand, a glass of diet pepsi in the other, Sarah McLachlan’s ‘Stupid’ playing on my ipod (shockingly appropriate song for the moment) and a goodbye note written, blaming a random girl I went to highschool with I haven’t seen in years for my death (I don’t know why the thought of her hearing that I blamed her for everything and hated her so much that I just ended it all, so hysterical) and was good to go. I lifted the bottle and tilted my head back when the phone rang. I knew it was the videotron home phone as it sounded like someone stepping on a rat. I walked over to the phone, knocking over one of the two dozen lit candles I set up in the process (Candles are pretty) and just not caring if the whole place burned down.
“Hello?”
“Hello Newsy.”
“You’ll have to speak up, I’m listening to Sarah McLachlan”
“I can hear it. I love this song... Do you have a minute?”
“You’re interrupting my big evening actually, is there something I can do for you?”
“It’s Bell, Newsy.”
“Oh... Hi Bell”
“How’re you and Videotron doing?”
“Well... Uhhhhh... ... ... Not good Bell. Not good they lied to me Bell.”
“I know Newsy. I know.”
“They said they had changed! They said they wouldn’t hurt me anymore!”
“I know.”
“They throttle my internet, my phone is terrible, they say these channels are HD but THEY ARE NOT!”
“I know.”
“... I never should have left you.”
“I know.”
“So how are you?”
“I’m good Newsy. Just worried about you. I want you to come back to me.”
“... After my betrayal, you want me back?”
“Yes Newsy. I love you. Can you love me again?”
“... I guess so.”
“I want to give you our new fiber optics internet service... fastest in the country, and no throttling in writing. I want to give you your home phone back. A home phone you can be proud of with unlimited long distance and all the extras. I want to give you expressvue with ultra HD, and all the extra channels free for a year, and I want to send two technicians to install and set everything up for you so you don’t have to worry.”
“I don’t deserve it Bell.”
“Yes you do Newsy. And I only want to charge you 120 dollars a month for everything... no contract... no commitment, let’s just see where this goes.”
“Wow. You’re too good to me Bell.”
“Shhhhhh, now let’s put down the pills –
“How did you know?”
“I’m Bell.... I know everything.”
“But-
“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... It’s going to be fine.”
“Okay, but –
“Hush little baby, don’t you fret, Ma Bell’s going to give you high speed internet... I love you Newsy...”
“I... love ... you too Bell.”
So in essence I left the abusive telecom company who beat me to go back to the distant and cold telecom company that thinks it’s better than me, but who doesn’t hit me so I think it’s a nice guy by comparison.
You know, you never think it’ll happen to you. You’re different. You’re with a telecom company, and it talks all nice about all the services and how it’s going to take care of you, and supports you, but then it starts putting on these restrictions. You can’t go over this amount of time, you can’t call these people because I don’t like them, Don’t talk to other telecom companies... Then this bad boy telecom company rolls into town and starts dropping services all over the place. ‘If you were my customer I’d treat you right. I’d give you better internet service, no call restrictions, and you can talk to any telecom company you want. I’ll introduce you to a few if you’d like. There’s Primus over there. Hey Primus! Come meet this cool girl!’... ‘I’m a man’... ‘not anymore baby.’
Then the Cool guy started drinking and getting mad and hitting me, and then I ran back to the safe telecom company that never hit me, but neglected me, passively put me down, and made me doubt my own self worth. I feel just terrible, but at least I’m not getting beat up anymore. I just wish for once I could meet a nice telecom company, that loves me for me, that gets me, you know? One day... My prince will come.
So I break up with Videotron and after some threats and lies they tell me ‘fine, I’ll send someone to pick up my stuff.’ I say OK, and begin my renewed affair with Bell. Things are going alright, and although I’m not in love with Bell, I am OK. I Like Bell, and I can sort of see a future with it. I may not have my storybook telecom relationship, but I guess a guy’s gotta settle right? You don’t want to be alone with no telecom company. And Bell’s not a bad guy, right?
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