Fatrick the Racist Dragon

Here at Awesome Inc. we have a few office traditions. The passive aggressive notes from the IT guy letting us know it was nice of us to show up when we’re 5 minutes late. The sales guy finding any excuse to walk into your office when you buy lunch, which he’s then kind enough to help you finish. The 12:15 wrestling match (‘The Challenge’) where we all test out the latest submission holds we learned from our friends on the ‘street’. None of these however can hold a candle to our most beloved of all traditions: the after 5 debate.

Some of you may be thinking inter-office debates are not uncommon. You’d be right of course, but we don’t debate time allocation or the positioning of workstations no, we debate things like euthanasia and racism... and if you’re curious as to who in their right mind would debate on the pro-racism side, well I can’t use his real name, so let’s call him ‘Fatrick’. We call him that due to his unnatural hairstyle...

Now before people get all uppity about hiring a racist, it should be noted nobody knew before hiring him he was so shockingly racist, and firing him because of his racism would actually be discriminatory so long as he doesn’t actually behave in a racist way towards someone who might take offence. Plus now that we’ve all gotten used to it, it’s sort of endearing. Like Gargamel hating the Smurfs. You can’t get mad at Gargamel anymore, he just hates those damned smurfs so much.

So what ‘Fatrick’ in between sales calls plays weird Nazi propaganda videos on youtube while staring at you intensely and nodding? So what if ‘Fatrick’ nudges you every time to two black people see each other on the street and say hello to each other? He’s all kinds of special and he’s all ours. Plus he’s eventually going to OD on steroids or something. Bless his little heart.